Life After Death

In almost every religion that ever existed or still in existence, the topic of Life After Death or the journey one makes to the other kingdom is full of fantasies. One reason for the same, according to my learnings, is because we fail to understand the metaphorical language that the messenger of God uses. Our failure in understanding fans the fantasies.

From the fantasy's perspective, the idea of one soul getting enrolled in the kingdom of God> the soul is directed to heaven or hell as per the deeds on Earth may by now seem to be believable but it is all imaginary. Man-made.

So I will not indulge in that. Rather, I would tell you a bit about my life after the passing of my beloved Appa.

I was around the age of 10 when I lost him. He was a diabetic and a foodie, a deadly combination. It was January and cold in Delhi. He went there on an official tour by train and returned in a coffin. The last time I and Appa spoke was 2days before he took his last breath in my Amma's arms. Autopsy reports said he died of pneumonia+cardiac arrest.

He was a creative man. An artist by profession. I still try to copy him in many ways but the personality he had, I don't think I'll ever be able to achieve it.

Every evening when he would return from office, the first thing he wanted to see was me. He never even scolded me but he would panic if I was not in the house. Appa or Amma will then start looking for me in all the nearby playgrounds and bring me home for the evening snacks that he would buy while returning from office. He loved us and we'll love him too till my last breath.

I cannot describe that moment when his body reached our house wrapped in white sheets. I could not believe my eyes. My best friend was no more and I could hardly do anything for him. My mother and I kept crying for months. Frankly, we still cry missing him. Our lives changed within moments.

Now that I am on the verge of becoming a father in a few months, I miss my Appa even more. I imagine Appa playing with my child. I know there are still many things that I am not aware of or don't have the proper knowledge of, my Appa would have taught my child. Amma, I and my wife will surely do our bit but the loss my child may suffer from is scary.

We learn in our culture that a house should always have the blessings and presence of elders to make it complete. I know we have his blessings, but the absence is felt every moment. We miss you, Papa.